January 8, 2019

Consumed

by Diane Marshall

Consumed

I understand being consumed by low vision. It is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when there doesn’t seem to be any light. So now what?

I find that, the times I focus on it, I become more scared and more consumed by what I can’t do anymore and what I might soon not be able to do, like drive to the market or the gym. I know that day is coming…soon.

Some days are worse than others. Sometimes I am terribly sad and can’t believe this is happening. I miss being able to read a book, newspaper, or magazine. So, I listen to audio books. I miss going on photoshoots with my class and spending hours editing on the computer. I miss being able to put my earrings back in after cleaning them. I miss putting on eye makeup, and making sure those pesky white hairs on my chin haven’t grown to be a couple inches long. I miss so much and it is a daily, often a minute by minute challenge not to fall into that dark hole of hopelessness.

So I do what I can do. I find ways to adjust the best I can. I meditate, I go to the gym, I play with my two kitties, I listen to audio books, I spend time with friends, I stream movies on my iPad. I eat Häagen-Dazs java chip ice cream.

Mindful meditation is very helpful. I say the words over and over: “It is what it is…”

The human spirit is resilient. You will find what works for you. Take good care of yourself. Be gentle and kind with yourself. Grieve when you need to. Then, when you are ready, move on. And ask for help when you need it.

You’ll be okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it now.

We offer resources and free materials for those living with low vision.

View Resources